2004-07-26 - 11:10 p.m.
Blackpanty, this one is for you so u don't gotta worry about the election anymore. Also, it's for everyone who has asked me stupid questions about who I'm going to vote for, which would be almost everyone I know.
All of you need to calm the fuck down. Everyone is so stressed out over this Bush vs. Kerry shit. What nobody realizes is that this election is completely irrelevant.
You should all just relax and accept the fact that I, Eli, am the Lord and Master. Eli-Qaeda shall rule this land, and all who stand in my way will be smited. SMITED, I SAY!!!!!!
My evil minions will ass-rape anyone who so much as says a disrespectful word about the Lord and Master that is me, and I will personally bitch slap every politician who is still alive, regardless of their party. All shall be bitch slapped, for no apparant reason.
Damn you people and your "who's better than who" bullshit. Just accept the fact that I am the ONE. I shall rule all. This is an inevitability, so just accept it now. Those of you who obey and join my legions of evil minions will be shown mercy, those of you who do not will be ruthlessly ass-raped by evil goats. If I were in your situation, it'd be an easy choice for me. However, being the Lord and Master, I'll never have to deal with such decisions.
And so, I leave the choice up to you. Accept your fate as a minion of Eli-Qaeda and be spared, or be an asshole about it and deny my future world domination and be ass-raped later.
I'm sure none of you want to be ass-raped by evil goats, so just accept your fate as an evil minion of Eli-Qaeda and move on. You'll all be happier when I make weed and public masturbation legal anyway.
OBEY, FOOLS!!!!!!
�
�
