2005-08-12 - 7:02 p.m.
So working at a bank I have discovered that the theory of evolution is one big crock of shit. Actually it had nothing to do with working at a bank per se, it's just the fact that I deal with the public every day. Allow me to explain.
Last week I had a customer hand me a $20 bill. After handing me said $20 bill the customer asked me for a $10 bill and two rolls of quarters. Seeing how quarters come in $10 rolls, this would equal $30, yesh? Not a big deal, many customers don't know the amounts that coin comes rolled in.
So I proceed to explain to this customer that quarters come in rolls of $10, so the amount of change he is asking for comes to $30, not $20, and ask if he'd like just one roll of quarters or if he'd like me to give him two rolls and leave out the $10 bill.
His response is a completely blank stare. I mean totally blank. I have never seen anyone look more confused in my life.
So the man stands there for another minute or so and says to me, "No, I want two rolls of quarters and a $10 bill"
And so I sigh and explain the math again, 10+10+10 = 30.
More blank stares, and the customer tells me the same thing yet again, to which i give the same answer yet again. Finally he takes one $10 bill and a roll of quarters and walks off, looking quite enraged.
Here is where evolution comes in. In order for the evolution theory to be accurate, natural selection has to take place, correct? The fact that this man is alive and well despite his stupidity proves that natural selection is either nonexistent, or extremely ineffective.
One would think that stupid people like this would have gotten themselves hit by a bus while jaywalking years ago. But no, they are alive and well, and neither natural selection nor good samaritans doing society a favor with a really big rifle is taking them out.
Because of this man I have come to the conclusion that evolution is an impossibility. These are strong words coming from a man who has very little if any faith in God and doesn't buy into the theory of intelligent design.
And so, with evolution out, and at least in my opinion the theory of intelligent design quite improbable, it leaves the question, where did we come from?
To the loyal members of Eli-Qaeda, this is a question easily answered. To all you skeptics, you will one day see the truth when you are engulfed in a fiery inferno of my raging ass cheese. That's right, people, the lord and master Eli created all. Even if I don't remember doing it. Who's your daddy, biatches?!
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